


so far under

by ghostsongs



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-11-20
Updated: 2010-11-20
Packaged: 2017-10-19 00:08:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 338
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/194745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ghostsongs/pseuds/ghostsongs





	so far under

  


  
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](http://wanttobeatree.livejournal.com/943667.html)   


      
The nights had dragged on endlessly, long hours strung together, one after another, boring and useless. He’d spent those evenings at bars or with women, anything to pass the time between hunts. But that was before Dean, before his brother walked back into his life.

Now it’s different. Instead of spending his nights elsewhere, Sam finds himself sitting on a motel bed for hours on end, watching his brother sleep. There’s something calming about this, a moment of peace amidst the chaos that has been his life since he was sprung from the cage. At the beginning, he doesn’t quite understand why it affects him this way, figures it’s some kind of ingrained sensation, memory inflicted.

Dean’s sprawled out on top of the bed, one arm seemingly reaching out for someone or something. His chest rises and falls rhythmically, _up-down-up-down_. He occasionally twists and turns, tangling himself further into the sheet he had curled into. This isn’t how he used to sleep, Sam knows that much. He still has those memories, fleeting and confusing as they may be. He recalls the impression of a warm body wrapped around his, the feeling of rough stubble against the side of his neck. But they’re only memories, that’s all.

But it’s during these black hours in this dark room that Sam realizes that he still loves Dean, even if he can’t _feel_ it. He listens to the shallows breaths coming from across the room and knows that he’d still die for his brother if he had to. And maybe that’s what makes this whole situation tolerable, the fact that being soulless doesn’t change how much Dean means to him.

So Sam sits there and waits for Dean to wake up. The sun will rise and another day will begin. And maybe they’ll be one more day closer to finding his soul and one more day closer to fixing what’s broken between them.

Love is more than an emotion. It’s the conscious decision to desire and work for the good of another.  



End file.
